What I want, what I really really want.........

Following on from last weeks fun and games at Club Melodi, I decided to write an informal blog to Linden Labs. We all enjoyed that great day a few weeks ago, when half the grid was down and no one could log in for most of the day. Well, I think we may be heading for another one.

Lag is abysmal at the moment, chat lag is getting worse, group chat (which has just been fixed) is still not right – and so the list goes on.

Linden Labs seem hell bent on telling us what we want them to do – when truth is we’d rather have other things.

So – Dear Mr Linden Labs

What I’m not bothered about is sploders, or games which encourage gambling when you only pay 10L in the first place or harmless newbies sitting in camping chairs for 1L every 4 hours. These don’t spoil my enjoyment of SL in any way. I don’t even mind if I stumble across 2 people, shall we say, enjoying each other. I’ll just tp away (if the tp will let me) and leave them to it.
What is do object to is talking objects and manic gestures. I’ve even got a hyperactive Snowman on mute because he wasn’t working properly and he drove me insane! Apart from talking snowmen, we have talking tummies (argh!!!!!), talking collars, talking cages –I’ve even got a talking pose hud on my mute list! And people with spankers seem hell bent on filling the chat up with multiple spankings. All good and well, but not during a trivia event please! And gestures – these are fine in their place, but I don’t want to miss seeing a trivia question or a comment from someone because somebody somewhere has a gesture which literally fills the screen! I’ve muted more than one person simply because I can’t see any chat because of their excessive gesturising! I’m not on about responsible people using gestures – I like gestures as much as anybody, what I’m on about is peole who talk in gestures, and constantly fill your screen with their rubbish. Please people – control you’re very annoying talking objects and you’re out of control gestures, and keep a hold on those spankings too.

Now , we’ve listened to Linden labs tell us what we want. This is apparently a grid with nothing adult whatsoever, no way, uh huh. There will be no nasty, tempting sploders or games encouraging us to gamble. (Let’s be fair – when we play sploders we just want to set fire to them for giving us 1L all the time – but that’s half the fun). And we don’t want nasty, innocent, little newbies falsely inflating traffic figures by, well, just sitting really.
Now it’s my turn – these are the things which actually would make my Second Life a whole lot more enjoyable.

1. To be able to log in. Simple as that. If I want to log in - let me. If I crash, then please don’t give me a message telling me I can’t log back until 13.05 or whatever. Just let me back OK! And once in, please let me stay there until I decide to log off. I really don’t want to crash simply because I’ve opened up my inventory, which has happened a few times lately.

2 When I do log in, it would be nice to see things in full technicolour, without fuzzy edges. Grey isn’t a fun colour, and various shades of it don’t make for much fun and frivolity. In a word – let things rez! We’ve all done it. You land somewhere and stand there oblivious to everything purely and simply because you just can’t see.

3 – To be able to speak! At the moment, there are several comments from a few weeks ago which have still not arrived in chat, and things aren’t getting any better. I may speak a load of rubbish that no one listens to, but at least show it on screen after I’ve gone to the trouble of typing it. There are occasions at trivia, when I think you get a bottle neck of chat, where we all type at the same time, but when there’s only 2 of you in a room, with no one else – why do I have to wait 5 minutes before I see what anyone’s said. And where’s all the novels we’ve been writing! When that chat lag hits, we just seem to keep on typing forever.

Along the same theme – I’d like to be able to take part in group im’s whenever I feel like. At the moment I miss half of my group im’s and it’s touch or go whether they will open if you want to send a message.

4– To get to places I want to go without crashing, or ending up in the air back where I started. If you attempt to tp these days you take you SL life in your hands and say a little prayer. 9 times out of 10 you end up looking at a blank screen with the crash logger running. When this happens, you usually get the little message saying ‘we are still logging you out’, so you can’t get back in. (See point 1)

5– to be able to walk and not run on the spot looking like an idiot because the lag’s so bad! This is one that’s driving me nuts at the moment. You go to walk, don’t move and then make lots of little running movements without going anywhere. Or of course you just walk off in to the distance, before whacking back in to place. At the moment I feel like I’m wading through treacle, and I’ve started calling these treacle days. When I press the arrow keys, I want to move in that direction. When I release them – I want to stop. Easy huh?

How I feel some days:)

6 – to be able to give and receive money as I want to, and not keep being told my money is stale. It’s not stale, its’ brand new. I gave 1L to my alt the other day – it arrived the next day. No kidding. And at the time of writing, I won 500L on 2 gaming machines. My money went through OK – so where’s my winnings? Funny how laggy money transactions usually work against you – never in your favour.

7 – to be able to change my clothes without the fear of ending up stark naked because attachments aren’t working, or things aren’t found in my inventory. I went to change into a party outfit to see what it was like at the weekend, and ended up standing at home because I wasn’t sure what, if any of it , was actually showing on my body. Then I crashed! (See number 5, referenced point 1) When I logged back on I was wearing a very odd mixture of clothes indeed. If it’s in my inventory, and I’ve clicked on it, rez it or attach it – don’t tell me it’s not found. I’m looking at it. I can see it! If it didn’t exist, I wouldn’t have it in my inventory in the first place.

8 – I’d like to be able to cross a sim boundary without taking off in to the distance! Particularly in a vehicle of any description. I went to our seaside place once, and found a boat in mid air. I sent an im to the owner telling them and I got exactly the reply I was expecting – sorry – I lost control on the boundary and didn’t know where the boat went! Failing that all sim boundaries should come with a warning. Some sort of boundary rating. Some are just pure evil and some are a lot more friendly.

9 I’d like to be the one who decides what does and doesn’t stay in my inventory! A few times recently I’ve logged on to find the number of items in my inventory has mysteriously dropped by a few hundred. Thankfully when I’ve logged on and off again (See point 1) the things have all returned, but it’s really annoying calling up your land marks to go somewhere, only to find that the one you wanted has temporarily vanished of its own accord (reference point 7). Alternatively, you go to call up your inventory, and then go and cook a 3 course meal while you wait for it to load.

10 if someone leaves or SL – don’t leave them with the right to own land! If there’s a problem then it’s downright impossible to talk to someone who no longer exists! There are 2 stretches of land on our home sim, which are both owned by people who are no longer on the grid. One has a small square right in the middle of one of our larger pieces, and it’s quite simply a nuisance, and there seems nothing we can do, even though, technically, nobody owns it. If someone isn’t registered, who pays their tier? And if they're closed their account so they're not paying their tier - why is their land still there?

Now I don’t know about anyone else, but these are the things I’d like to see improve, rather than be told I can’t play with newbies in camping chairs or with sploders. (or even put newbies in sploders?)These are the 10 things which would make my SL experience a whole lot better. I’m getting ready for the Day SL Broke – part 2 – and I hope you all are too. Because unless things get better, then that’s what’s going to happen. And guess what – with everything that’s wrong with the grid, and with all the moaning, I’m just like everyone else –we all still visit everyday.

Club Melodi survives!

Right after I started as Mall Manager, I was approached, very cautiously, by someone I’d met at Demented Souls. I was about to log off one night, and Angelo asked if I might be interested in hosting at his new club. He put it slightly more politely, but basically I’ve got a big gob, and he wanted me to use it! I can do that.

My first night was a Wednesday, and I soon found out that the people there are very friendly and out to have fun. It wasn’t long (a whole week in fact) before we were organising our first trivia event. I wanted to make it a little different so I decided on alphabet trivia – each week all the answers will start with the same letter of the alphabet.

Me, (right) and Angelo (left) strutting our stuff with 2 party goers

I arrived on the Tuesday ready to spam away, only to find that group chat was well and truly and utterly borked! I don’t have rights to send notices on any group either. I wasn’t bothered for me, but I did want Angelo to have a few people down, so I was a little peeved shall we say. Thankfully Lotus is able to send notices, and she put one out over Sharons for me, and we did get a few people turning up. Lette arrived part way through, and I plucked up the courage to ask her to send one on Bucc bowl for me as well, and Josh picked this up and sent one on Trivia Fiends too. This is the kind of thing that makes you feel good about SL – the people. Thank you both for that. We ended up with a great crowd, all shouting out words beginning with A, and, I hope, having a great time. Angelo had lined up artists beginning with A, but in typical SL style, the stream kept breaking up, so he had to hand over to another DJ, who kept things going so smoothly no one really noticed the change.

For some reason the next letter was going to be S. The following Tuesday - oh what fun we had! We started off OK – the crowd arrived ready for fun, and answers were flowing. We got to half time, and Angelo did his new interval trivia – guess the artist. Then everything went grey, and off I went. I tried to log back in, and I got my favourite message – you are still being logged out so tough luck! I logged my alt in to try to get a message to anyone who was there, and quickly sent an e mail to Angelo. This was when I found out we all seem to have gone together. After a few minutes I got back but couldn’t tp. I got back to the club using the map, and then just stood there like a lemon. I couldn’t move, and everything I typed in to chat just disappeared. Now I know I talk utter nonsense, but as the one asking the questions, it’s a good idea to be heard. It felt like somebody had poured a barrel of treacle in to the Linden servers, and I was trying to wade my way (very unsuccessfully) through it. I didn’t want to log off again, but I had no choice. I managed to log back on and used the map to tp. After a slow start things rezzed, I could move, I could talk – we were off! Angelo was back – although I gather the music never stopped, and very slowly those who’d crashed with us all returned. A little shell shocked, but we all survived. Nice try Linden labs – but we’re born survivors!

Half an hour late – but we finally got the 2nd half underway – and a great big thank you to all of those who stopped and to those who came back! (Ok I understand one or 2 couldn’t tp away anyway, but thanks all the same;)

The survivors returned one by one and carried on regardless.

I’d like to think we broke the sim, but in all honesty this was good old Second Life doing what it does best – screwing us around. I’d heard people all day complaining that they quite simply couldn’t move, and things just weren’t right, and I think it was finally time for our sim to have it’s share. Be warned – this was exactly how it started the day SL broke – so we could well be headed for another day offline.

Starting next week, we will be doing Tuesdays and Thursdays. Tuesday will be alphabet trivia, and Thursdays will be general knowledge, but paying first and second. Angelo will be doing his breaktime tunes, and let’s hope SL will do it’s best to leave us alone to have fun! This is a great club, with a great atmosphere, and I’m taking no credit whatsoever for anyone enjoying themselves. Angelo is a great DJ, and he and his hosts know how to make people feel welcome, and give them a good time. Me, I just shout out questions. I’m glad Angelo asked me to host – so far this has been a lot of fun for me.

Now, here’s a test to see who reads this blog. Over the last 2 weeks you’ve all shouted out lots of words beginning with A and now S. So far, not one of them has been one of the answers to any of the questions. So – starting this Tuesday (it’s R) – if any of the preguesses are any of the answers on my card (and as long as the question hasn’t already been asked) I will pay 10L. I also suspect that if anyone does preguess, then they will then keep guessing that word until they get it right.

Club Melodi is a great club, open Monday to Friday 11am – 5pm SLT. You’re always guaranteed a friendly welcome and good music with a nice group of people.

Double Standards gets a new Manager

A couple of weeks ago I was asked by Humm to be the Mall Manager at Double Standards. I didn’t need asking twice – that place has been like my second home since I started on SL.

Basically it involves making sure the shops are rented out, and organising events – something I’ve never done in SL before.

Well I have a stack of ideas for things to do and I find things all the time as I travel round SL - so be warned Double Standards – you’ll be hearing a lot more from me yet!

Well first thing was get some new shops – and I’m happy to say that we currently have an almost full mall with some great new stores in there – I’ve even been shopping myself. I did of course try to get all my favourite stores in there but to no avail.

I also wanted something quick and simple to keep the VIP’s interested during the slower summer. Although we’re not yet in the middle of summer, things are starting to slow down. Those of us who are left still want things to do! I’ve entered a few photo contests myself, so my first suggestion was for one of those. Humm came up with the idea of ‘Skimpy in the Summer’, and I wholeheartedly agreed (Gave me a change to perv men in thongs) We got a few entries almost straightaway, and with a little gentle nagging (something along the lines of 'I want more men in thongs' posted everyday) by the time the contest started we’d filled all available slots on the board! (and not all with men in thongs either) Ok, there are a couple of things which may be not quite right, but we learn from our mistakes, and next time ( we already have a theme) people will be able to vote for more than one photo at a time.

I also had the idea of a Greedy Greedy Contest. The VIPs do love their Greedy Greedy. This was a pay to enter contest, based on points won over 3 games. I decided to get this done over a weekend (!) and again, a little 'gentle' nagging got 10 contestants. Other people may have been able to enter had it not been for that dastardly thing called RL.

First heat and one of the contestants wasn’t even online- good start, but after a quick im (which must have gone to e mail) we were joined by a skeleton with a walking stick (yes Chad). The skeleton was very greedy indeed and lost all his points on his last go, and Catherine wasn’t having any luck either, so Honey won the points. 2nd heat was just as eventful –we had a full size lemming at the table with us and a woman in a top hat with rolling dice. Cinna, Reke, Carley and Shale went head to head and Shale got the points after a very close run game. Final heat of the day, and I was seeing spots before my eyes. Whoever decided to get the heats over with in one day needs their head examined (Oh hang on - it was my idea wasn't it!). Due to a slight technical hitch I had to make up the numbers for Lette and Lance. Just as well I wasn’t playing for real – I lost all my points when I got to 9600! Everything was merging in to one big dice by this time. All thanks to Lette for this heat – she knows what I mean. And thanks for Thornton for stepping in when her opponent suddenly had to leave. We were all disappointed when he had to drop out, so it was nice to have him help out with this heat at least.

A greedy skeleton getting Greedy Greedy

By now it was 1.30 am and I was dice tired. Next day – it was on with the semi finals. Cat just didn’t have the luck again, and Lette stormed through, while Shale just got Greedy to let Honey through. (When trying to get the most points, losing your points twice in one game is not a good ides:)) For the final we had a good crowd turn up to watch, as Honey and Lette played a very close game. At one point there were just 500 points between them on the last game, but Honey just edged forward to take the title.

We even had greedy lemmings, and I just couldn't help clicking the dice in Shales
hat - more dice (twitch)

Thanks to all who supported this, and a big thank you to everyone for taking part. This was the first event I ever really organised, and I’ve certainly learned a few things to take through to the next one. First one is – don’t run it over a weekend! My sanity hangs by a thread at the best of times, and I swear I've still got dots before my eyes. Next time the heats will be run over a week, which should mean everyone gets a chance to pick a time convenient to them, and the semi finals and final will be run at the weekend, or if need be beginning of the following week. This should give more peope the opportuniy to enter, and my poor tired brain won’t start twitching at the thought of looking at dice again.

Lette and Honey go head to head, watched over by a teddy bear!

I have other ideas to keep people amused, but I’m always open to suggestions. We can’t do everything at once, but hopefully we can find a few things to give everyone even more reason to hang around at Double Standards.

We will be running more fishing events, and our first 24 hour fishing marathon went off very well indeed. Thanks to all the 7 seas fishers who took part (and the Vips’ who came along too).

So – get used to it – you all know the size of my mouth – well it’s going to be nagging – er telling you about more events over the coimng months. There is no escape;)

A lot has happened in the last few weeks.

I decided to try my hand at something new after posing for a few photos for Humm, so I thought I'd try my hand at modelling. I never intended to take it seriously, as if I could, so I when I got accepted to an agency, I was happy to stay with that rather than apply to every other agency as well. By the end of the week, I was with 2 agencies, and I'd already learned just how hard some people work at being a SL model.

The first thing I learned is that, in SL as in RL, you have to be a 10 foot beanpole to model. No tits. No bum. Just straight. My av's 5' 9", definitely has the former, and also has the latter too. In other words - I'd need a complete makeover. Well Ok, in SL that's pretty easy, and as some designers require different looks it wasn't too much of a problem. I never quite worked out why I got chosen though, if I was too short, with tits and an arse that needed to be flattened.

The next thing I learned is that walking a catwalk isn't maybe as easy as you think. The first one I had to practice on had circular walks, and when they opened up they went back on themselves. Not easy, but I didn't fall off. The second one I practiced on had invisible walls. But for the others telling me, and telling me how to see them, I'd have probably spent the entire evening simply trying to get on it.

I also attended a couple of classes, and I did pick up a few tips which may help me as I go round Second Life. And I found out about various gadgets too. I mean, who knew I needed a boot fixer! Seriously, if you don't have one - you need it! I wear it all the time now. Face lighters aren't maybe quite as useful - they tend to light up your boobs rather than your face, and mine don't need anything to help you see them thank you:)

Me trying to look intelligent in my class

Models also learn how to make their own AO's. This is something I wish I'd found out about, but I didn't stop long enough. For those who succeed in SL modelling it's a full time job, and only the dedicated and intelligent will make it. They attend classes, practices and castings, and then have the stresses and strains of the show itself. Well, I say stresses and strains.................

One of the first things I was told about was the shows themselves. These are apparently extremely laggy, and it's not uncommon to see models walking off over the audience, only to suddenly whack back in to place, right in to the model behind them. I was told about one show where invisible walls were not in place, and the models kept falling off and landing in the swimming pool. The lady who told me had the right attitude, and she said she was sittting at her computer with tears of laughter rolling down her cheeks, as I would have had if it had been me. Some, I understand, were more than a little upset.

Me showing off some of the things I learned

I have to say, that like other areas of SL, it also has it's Diva's. The ones who've done a few things and think they're better than everyone else. I'm saying nothing - but just because my arse it too close to the ground - it doesn't make anyone better than me.

The one thing that really got to me, was that I would need to make my profile more grown up and serious. No chance! I love having my funny photos on there, and I'm proud of my typo I've got on there too! I would have done all this though, but for a change in circumstances, which meant I'd be working all the time on SL, so something had to go. For me the choice was pretty easy. Humm offered me the job as Mall Manager at Double Standards, and a few days later Angelo asked me to host at his new club. Now taking incessantly is something I do well ( which is why I was asked ), and nagging people I do pretty well too. So in order to get myself some time for me, the modelling had to go.

It was interesting to see a different slice of SL, and I've certainly got a new found respect for some of those who make it as models. I wish the owners of both the agencies I was with well for the future - I'm sure they'll both do very well.


Now - who wants to see this boot fixer! Trust me - you need it!!